Keeping a visitation log
I've been told to keep a visitation log to help get custody of my kids, will this help?
Depends on what you log and how you use it. Was that vague enough? I'll go into detail, don't worry.
First what's the reason your thinking of keeping a log? Are you worried about the kids? Are you trying to increase custody?
If you're worried about the kids because they aren't getting to school on time, your ex has drinking or drug problems or
your ex is bringing dangerous people around the children that's definitely a good reason to keep a log. If you can log when your ex is showing up intoxicated that's important. If you ex shows up with gang members to drop your kids off then log it.
If your kids are constantly dropped off without their school work or books that can be an issue that may help change custody as well. More likely than not it would need to be part of a larger set of problems to make any changes, but still worthy to log.
A log should have things like:
- When the kids were picked up, on time?
- How was the "trade" of the children handled?
- What was the state of the other parent when they showed up?
- What was the state of the children when they were dropped off, unhappy, clean and all their stuff with them? (School work, Jacket, etc..)
So let's talk about what goes into a log, or maybe what should not go into a log. A log should not be a minute by minute account of dealing with your ex. A log should not contain things that do not pertain to your children directly.
For instance; don't write in your log:
"I drove by my ex's house and he/she had a date over at the house and my children were in the car and got upset!".
"I dropped off the kids and I could that my ex's house was a dirty"
"My ex picked up the kids and he/she was 10 minutes late."
"I called my ex to discuss the kids and he/she was rude to me"
You need to realize that the court doesn't care about petty crap between you and the ex. Only issues that directly affect the children's well being. In fact you can hurt yourself by putting too much into the log. My ex kept a log trying to get custody of the kids and it was so detailed that it looked like a stalkers log. It made her/him look really bad in fact the judge made a comment about it. Basically he said the court does not like wasting it's time with petty issues between the two of you and you should be ashamed wasting so much of the taxpayers money on such issues. And he said it while looking directly at my ex, uhg, not good.
So keep the log realistic, in fact don't bother with a log unless there is a real issue your trying to deal with. Trying to make someone look bad with a log without facts to back it up will only reflect badly on you.
Also if you're going to make accusation in the log like "my ex was drunk" them have a witness sigh the log so you have validation for your statement.
You should really think about hiring an attorney or at least consulting with one about keeping a log so you can log what's needed for your case. If you do keep a log run it past your attorney for a sanity check before submitting it too the court.